Sorting Through Real
by Crystal2222
Summary: Richard deals with the physical and mental fallout of his time in Perdition.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Sorting Through Real (Part 1)  
Author: Crystal  
Characters: Richard/Kahlan/Zedd/Cara  
Rating: PG  
Timeline: Season 2  
Story Type: Drama/Angst  
Spoilers: Season 2 Perdition  
Synopsis: Richard deals with the physical and mental fallout of his time in Perdition.

Richard sorted through sticks for the funeral pyre. He hadn't known Leo, but he respected him as another Seeker, a Seeker who'd jumped in front of wizard's fire and saved Kahlan from certain death. And giving him a respectful passage into the underworld where he couldn't be used as a pawn for the Keeper was the least he could do.

Still, it had been a long several days in the desert of Perdition with no water or food, and no real sleep. He'd gulped down some too-warm water from Zedd's skin, and chewed on a handful of nuts that Kahlan had pressed into his hand, but there hadn't been time for more, and he was as anxious as everyone else to move on.

"She had feelings for him," Kahlan whispered as she dropped an armful of sticks at his feet. She nodded toward Cara who was absently hacking at a dead tree with Richard's hunting knife, barely nicking the wood. She definitely didn't look like the hard Mord Sith Richard remembered leaving behind.

"He was a good man," added Kahlan. "If we had to pick another Seeker, I'm glad it was him."

"I'm sorry he had to die," said Richard.

"We'll talk later. I want to know everything." Kahlan squeezed his arm and gave him a brief smile.

Richard nodded and tried not to wince. She'd touched a sore spot from the baneling attack that Zedd hadn't healed yet. Wait, Richard thought, that hadn't been real, had it? He shook his head. If hadn't been real, why was his arm still sore? He squeezed the bridge of his nose as a wave of dizziness hit him. It was just so hard to sort through what had been real and what hadn't, like his mind was still out there in Perdition and only his body had made it back.

"Are you okay?" Kahlan asked, laying her hand along the side of his face. "You're warm."

"I'm just tired," he said, patting her hand as the dizziness subsided. "And I want to know everything that happened to you too. But first we have to honor Leo and then I just want to get out of here. You have no idea how much I want to get out of here."

"Soon," she said, glancing back at Cara, her forehead creased with a small frown. "Very soon." She moved off to gather more wood.

Richard sorted the sticks and tied the thickest and longest ones into the frame for the pyre, using some vines Verna had found before she'd slipped away.

"I must move on before the prelate finds me," Verna had said, placing her hands on top of his in the manner of a blessing. "I wish you the best in your quest, Richard. I hope you are right about the prophecy."

"Thank you for your help," he'd said, giving her a mischievous smile. "If I ever have to learn to be a wizard again, I want you to be my teacher."

"I see you've learned some wisdom from your experiences." She'd smiled as Richard chuckled. Then she'd nodded to the others and walked quietly over a dune and into the forest of the Old World.

Richard tied the last of the strongest sticks together, his hands shaking from the effort. Zedd must've noticed because he made Richard take another swallow of water before the two of them picked up Leo's body and hoisted it onto the top of the structure.

"We're ready," Zedd said, lighting a torch with a flicker of his fingers.

Richard stood next to Kahlan as she and Zedd spoke about this man he'd never known, yet shared so much with. He wanted to add some words to theirs. He was the current Seeker and he should say something about a man who'd wielded the Sword of Truth in his absence, but his mind was still back in Perdition and he kept seeing the other Seeker, Kahlan's husband who'd died because Richard hadn't listened to him about Cara being a baneling and who'd married Kahlan and given her a daughter, a daughter Richard could never give her.

As Cara placed a small flower on Leo's body, Richard wrenched himself back to the present. She said something too quiet for him to hear and took the torch from Kahlan. After touching the flame to the dry wood, the former Seeker caught fire and began to burn in a way that was both beautiful and awful. Richard turned away, glad they could finally move on.

They walked for hours, Cara leading the way toward the New World, a stiff figure in red setting a brutal pace as if she could erase any feelings she'd had for Leo with each step.

Richard kept up, his mind floating in a haze of false memories from Perdition where he thought about Verna and sisters in red and Kahlan being married with a husband and a daughter. He wondered if she'd been happy with the other Seeker or if she'd thought about him on occasion. He thought about Cara and wondered if she'd ever found someone besides Leo before she'd become a baneling, if she'd minded serving a Seeker who wasn't also the Lord Rahl. And he wondered how Zedd had died and if he'd thought of Richard at the end, his only grandson training to be a wizard just like him. Had Zedd been proud of him? he wondered.

"How are you holding up, my boy?" asked Zedd, remarkably alive and whole beside him.

Richard blinked and passed a hand over his forehead. "How did you get here?" he asked as another wave of dizziness hit him. "Did you take the Keeper's deal?"

Zedd frowned and opened his mouth to say something, but Cara called out, "We're under attack."

Richard turned. Banelings swarmed out of the forest – when had they left the desert and come to a forest, he wondered? – and charged toward their group, their faces wretched with decay. Richard raised his hands and held his fingers out to burn them with wizard's fire. But nothing came out, and he stared at his hands in astonishment.

"Richard," yelled Kahlan, clutching two daggers as she prepared to meet the horde, "what are you doing?"

Richard meant to tell her that wizard's fire was better than the Sword of Truth against banelings, but before he could get the words out, the horde was upon them. Richard gave up on his wizard's fire and pulled out the sword, hacking and slashing bodies as the banelings threw themselves at him. Luckily, his reflexes kicked in, so he didn't have to think, just react. His world shrank to one decaying body after another, hurtling themselves at him as he slashed their throats or thrust the sword into their abdomens. Their dead blood splattered hotly against the skin of his wrists. His sore arm throbbed with each thrust.

Nearby, Zedd fought with the wizard's fire Richard hadn't been able to find within himself while Kahlan did her graceful dance with her daggers and Cara stabbed her agiels with a ferociousness he hadn't seen her use in a long time.

Finally, the last baneling lay dead on the ground. Richard waited for another wave of dizziness to pass, only it didn't pass and he tried to ignore it as he wiped his sword on the grass and thrust it into his scabbard, glad he could still perform those simple tasks.

Kahlan walked up to him, breathing hard, her daggers still coated with blood. "Are you okay?" she asked, looking his body up and down. "You weren't yourself. Maybe we should stop for the day."

"I'm fine." Richard said, rubbing his sore arm as the world swirled around him, turning into pinpricks of black that spread until he couldn't see anything at all. "I just need to sit down," he muttered and fell to the ground, consciousness slipping away.


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

Kahlan dropped her daggers and rushed to Richard's side, touching his face and his chest and the back of his head, fingers hovering as she tried to figure out what was wrong, but there was nothing visible. "Zedd," she cried, "Richard's hurt."

"What?" Zedd spun around from where he was burning banelings. In a few strides, he was next to Richard, feeling his flushed cheek and pressing a couple of fingers to the pulse in his neck. Zedd pursed his lips. "I think it's dehydration, but help me check for other injuries."

Zedd lifted Richard's torso while Kahlan pulled off his vest and shirt. She stared in shock when she saw his arms. His right bicep had a deep cut that looked a couple of days old and had already started to fester. His left shoulder had a nasty burn that looked like the result of wizard's fire. Why hadn't he told them? she wondered, shaking her head at his foolishness while chastising herself for not being more attentive. She'd just been so happy to see him alive that she hadn't looked for anything more.

As Zedd waved his hand above each injury, he muttered a spell of healing until smooth skin appeared.

"Zedd, how did he get these?" asked Kahlan, gently running her fingers through Richard's hair.

"Visions in the Valley of Perdition become real to the person who imagines them," he said. "It seems like Richard was in a couple of battles . . . in his mind, at least."

"Or the Sisters of the Light were more vicious than they appeared." It was Cara. She was crouching next to Kahlan. Now she leaned forward, staring hard at Richard.

Zedd pursed his lips, and Kahlan wondered if he thought they'd done the wrong thing, making Richard go with the sisters. But he didn't say anything, and Kahlan had no wish to pursue that line of thought at the moment.

"In either case," said Zedd, "Richard must have been in the desert longer than we realized, much longer, I'm afraid." He glanced around at the terrain. "Let's get him out of the sun."

With a grunt and some help from Kahlan and Cara, Zedd hauled Richard over his shoulder, and set off for a copse of trees about a quarter league away. Richard's arms hung down behind Zedd's back and swayed with each step.

Kahlan grabbed her daggers and followed while Cara took care of their packs and Richard's clothes.

Under a large oak tree, Zedd set Richard on his back. Kahlan fell to her knees, moistened a cloth from her pack, and pressed it to his forehead. "He's so hot," she said. "Yet his skin is dry."

Cara dropped the packs and impatiently tapped her agiels. "It doesn't make sense. I thought you healed his wounds."

"His wounds aren't the problem," said Zedd, as he rummaged through his pack. "Richard's severely dehydrated." He pulled out a cooking pot, set it on the ground, and emptied his water skin into it. Then he gestured for Kahlan and Cara's skins as well and added them to the pot. Turning to Cara, he shoved the skins back into her hands. "Find a stream and fill these quickly."

Before Cara could move, Richard's body began flailing, arms and legs flopping on the ground like he was possessed by a dark spirit. His head jerked uncontrollably and white foam bubbled from his mouth like he had rabies.

Kahlan gasped. "Zedd!"

"Dear spirits," said Zedd. "Hold him down, so he doesn't hurt himself."

Kahlan and Cara grabbed an arm and a leg each while Zedd raised his hands and muttered a complicated spell. It seemed to take forever, and Kahlan had to press down on Richards limbs with all her weight and even then they still jerked beneath her hands.

"Hurry, wizard," barked Cara after Richard's arm broke free and slammed against a rock. A small gash appeared on the back of his hand.

Zedd's fingers glowed. A soft white light flowed from them onto Richard's chest, spreading across his skin, over his face and down to his feet, looking like wisps of fog. A moment later, Richard stopped jerking and his limbs settled down. His head rolled to the side, foam running down to his chin.

Breathing hard, Kahlan grabbed the cloth she'd used before and wiped his mouth. "Why didn't he ask for water? Why didn't he tell us he needed a break?"

Zedd sat back on his heals and scowled. "Lack of thirst is a symptom of severe dehydration. I knew that. Yet when I saw him struggling when we were preparing for Leo's funeral, I didn't make the connection. He said he was fine, but I should've insisted—"

"No," said Cara, "I let emotions cloud my judgment. It's my job to look out for Richard, and I wasn't paying attention." She abruptly rose to her feet and grabbed the empty skins. "Fix this, wizard. We are not losing two Seekers in one day."

After Cara had gone, Kahlan reached for the cooking pot. "I'll give him the water now."

"No," said Zedd, staying her hand. "We'll just choke him."

"But what can we do?" Kahlan's voice rose in panic. "When I was a little girl, some men had been rescued from a prison camp near Aydindrall after their captors had run off. The prisoners had spent several days locked in their cells without food or water before they'd been rescued. None of them had survived. None, Zedd."

"Stay calm, dear heart. It's not too late for Richard." Zedd placed his hands on Richard's stomach and closed his eyes as if trying to sense something below the surface his skin. He opened his eyes and gave Kahlan a grave look. "But I won't lie to you. He is in real danger."

Kahlan nodded and pressed her fingers against her mouth.

"I'm going to attempt a transfer spell to get some water into him. I can't see where I'm sending the water, though, so pray that my aim is true. If it works, he should revive."

Kahlan refused to think about what would happen if his spell didn't work. "Do it," she said, "and may the Creator guide your hands."

Zedd nodded and slid the pot of water next to Richard's side. He took a deep breath, brow furrowed in concentration, and began muttering his spell.

Kahlan bent forward and pressed her lips to Richard's forehead, cheek, and lips. His skin felt like parchment. "I love you," she whispered. She would've said more, but her throat closed up, so she grabbed one of his hands, and held it between her own, stroking his knuckles.

Zedd's fingers danced. In the cooking pot, the water rippled as if from an invisible wind. It slowly disappeared until the pot was dry. Kahlan turned to watch Richard's stomach to see if it looked any different, any fuller, but there was no change.

Zedd sighed and slumped to the side, looking grey from exhaustion. "As soon as Cara brings back more water, I'll do this again."

"Are you all right?" asked Kahlan.

He waved a hand dismissively in her direction. "I just need a little rest. Ah, here comes Cara now."

Kahlan turned, but something was wrong. Cara was sprinting toward them, the water skins swinging in her hand.

"Banelings," she yelled, "they're back."


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3

Kahlan grabbed her daggers from her boots and ran to meet Cara who tossed the water skins to the side and pulled out her agiels. Banelings swarmed out of the woods, apparently having taken another deal from the Keeper, their skin pink and fresh as if they hadn't just been killed a little while before.

Kahlan speared two with her daggers while Cara attacked another two, spinning and kicking one while simultaneously stopping another one's heart. From the corner of her eye, Kahlan noticed Zedd's wizard fire destroying a burly man who wielded a log as if it were a club, and she worried that he'd tire himself out too much to help Richard. But she didn't have time to think about it, as another baneling swung a sword at her head. Ducking, she slashed at his abdomen while kicking his legs out from under him and following through with a stab to his throat, his blood spraying across her face and down her neck, hot and sticky.

Kahlan stumbled back, wiping blood from her eyes, tasting it in her mouth. A tall skinny woman raised an ax over her head. Kahlan tried to jump away, but slipped on the wet ground, falling at the woman's feet just as the ax came down straight for her head.

A sword sliced through the woman's arms, amputating them at the wrists. The ax fell and the woman screamed, staring at her stumps as blood spurting into the air like fountains. The woman fell to the ground, whimpering. A moment later, she lay still. Kahlan gaped at the horrific scene.

Richard stood over the woman, breathing hard, the Sword of Truth clutched in his hands, the bloody tip resting on the ground. Around them Cara and Zedd fought the last of the banelings, the clash of metal on metal echoing in the quite of the woods.

Richard turned to Kahlan, his eyes wide as he stared at her. "Kahlan?" He fell to his knees, clearly spent. "You're bleeding." 

Kahlan shook her head and ran to him. "No, no, it's not my blood. I'm fine. I'm not hurt. You saved me." She knelt and pulled him to her, burying her face in his neck. "What are you doing up, you foolish man? You almost died. You should be resting." Tears burned in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks.

"Worried 'bout you." Richard's head fell onto her shoulder and he sagged against her. His fingers opened, letting the sword drop to the ground.

Kahlan squeezed him to her and held back a sob. She couldn't believe he was alive and whole. No wonder she'd had such trouble realizing he'd been ill before with the way he managed to get up and fight as if nothing was wrong. She held onto him, enjoying the solid feeling of him against her body, warm and alive.

"I was so worried," she said to him. "You really gave us a scare."

"I'm sorry," he mumbled into her shoulder, "I didn't mean to scare you." He pulled back, gave her a small smile, and ran his thumb across her cheek. "You're a mess."

Kahlan laughed and brushed at the tears still rolling out of her eyes. Her fingers came away coated in red. "I'll wash up later, but right now I need to get you back under the shade. You need to drink more water and get something to eat. Maybe some soup. I'll get Zedd to make some. Cara can catch a rabbit."

Kahlan glanced around. Cara and Zedd had killed the last of the banelings. Now Cara stalked around the area, a grim set to her mouth, lightly kicking some of the bodies boot to see if they stirred. Zedd rubbed his back, his face drawn as if he were exhausted.

"How's Sonya?" asked Richard suddenly, looking at the battlefield. "And your husband? I don't see them anywhere." 

"What?" Kahlan turned back to him.

"The Seeker. I thought he'd died in the palace, along with your daughter. But I thought you'd died too. And seeing you here alive …" Richard tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, his eyes tearing up. "… so very alive …"

"Of course I'm alive. Richard, what's this about?"

"If you're alive then maybe the Seeker's alive too. I should've listened to him about Cara, but maybe it doesn't matter after all. And maybe your daughter's alive, maybe the Sisters too."

He looked down at his arms. "And I don't have any wounds either, so things aren't as they seemed before." He leaned closer and glanced around as if to make certain no one else was listening. "Kahlan, I think the Sisters are messing with my mind, making me see things that aren't there. They made me think Cara and you had killed each other and every living soul in the world had died."

Kahlan shook her head and gripped his arms. "Richard, something is wrong."

"Yes, I know."

"But it's not what you think. No one is messing with your mind. We rescued you, and you've been ill, dehydrated."

Richard swayed and pressed a hand to his forehead. "I'm not ill."

"You should go lie down. Can you lie down over there in the shade?" She pointed to the spot he'd occupied just a little while ago. "I'll go get Zedd."

"Zedd?" Richard pushed her away, frowning in confusion. "But you told me he died years ago."

"No, I didn't. Zedd was with Denna, and we rescued him a few months ago. He didn't die. See?" She pointed out where Zedd was burning one of the banelings with wizard's fire, and Cara was watching nearby, her arms folded.

Richard stared, looking from Zedd to Cara and back to Kahlan. He grabbed his sword and pushed himself to his feet, stumbling away from her. "You're banelings."

"What? No!"

He swayed and pressed a hand to his forehead. "I should've known."

Kahlan leapt to her feet. "Richard, listen to yourself. You're not making sense."

"Don't come any closer, Kahlan." He held the sword out toward her, but it shook in his hands. "I'm not joining you. No matter what you say."

Kahlan held up her hands and didn't step any closer. "I'm not a baneling, Richard. You're not thinking right. It's the dehydration or some kind of leftover effect from the Valley of Perdition."

"Dehydration?" The sword dipped toward the ground and Richard blinked in confusion. "Perdition?"

"Yes, you've been ill. Zedd healed you. That's how those injuries on your arms got better."

Richard let the sword tip rest on the ground.

Kahlan stepped forward and held her hand out toward him, palm up. "Richard, do you trust me?"

He nodded. "Of course, I always trust you."

"Then come with me." She took a step toward him, her palm out. "Please, I want to help you."

Richard stared at her hand before his face screwed up in anguish. "I … I can't. I'm sorry, Kahlan. I want to trust you, but you're just going to take me to the Keeper. And the real Kahlan would never ask me to do that."

He turned and took off for the woods, suddenly running with new energy.

"Zedd!" called Kahlan, "Cara, help!"

She took off after him.


	4. Chapter 4

Part 4

Richard ran as hard as he could into the woods, stumbling over rough ground, and crashing through a thicket that scratched his arms and chest. It had all been an illusion, he realized. Kahlan being alive and well. Cara not being a baneling. Zedd being still alive. Leo sacrificing himself to save Kahlan's life. The funeral pyre. Verna saying good-bye. All of it.

The truth was: the Keeper had won, and everyone except him was dead. Everyone. Kahlan had gotten married and had a child and lived the kind of life he'd dreamed of while Richard had been training to be a wizard, forsaking his quest, apparently oblivious to the troubles of the world. And now everyone was dead. And he, the Seeker, the supposed hero, had done nothing to save them.

Richard tripped on a rock and fell hard. He lay on the ground, panting, his face pressed to the moist earth. A sob broke forth and then another. He pressed his knuckles to his mouth to keep it inside so he couldn't give his position away.

How do you go on when everyone you cared about was dead, he wondered, when everyone in the entire world was a baneling? It wasn't like he could find people to help him fight the Keeper because there were no other people. And it wasn't like he could ever have friends or even find love again because there was no one left to love.

He could never share a quiet meal in a tavern or dance at a festival or laugh at someone's jokes or buy a hair clasp for a pretty woman to tie back her hair, like the one he'd wanted to buy Kahlan shortly after they met and he'd felt it was too soon to buy something for someone he didn't know that well yet.

And worst of all, almost beyond thinking, he could never see Kahlan's smile again or hear her sigh in her sleep or brush a lock of hair behind her ear.

The enormity of everything pressed Richard to the earth. It pinned his arms and legs against the ground as if someone had covered him in sand, piles and piles of sand. Richard sobbed and this time he didn't care if anyone heard.

As Kahlan took off after Richard, Zedd called out, "Kahlan, wait!" She whirled around. Zedd was striding toward her, shaking his head. "He's mixed up. If you keep chasing him, you'll just push him farther into the wilderness."

"But we'll lose him."

"No, we won't. I spelled his shoes."

Kahlan took a few steps toward the woods and half-turned back to him, clutching her daggers anxiously. "But he's weak. We can catch him easily."

"I'll go," said Cara, tucking her agiels in to their holsters. "I don't know why he ran from you, Kahlan, but you're obviously the last person who should be chasing him."

"No one is going to be chasing after him," bellowed Zedd.

Cara and Kahlan stared at him.

"Spirits," said Zedd, rubbing the small of his back. "First things first. Kahlan, tell us what happened. What caused Richard to run away?"

Kahlan told them about how he'd thought they were all dead. "Is it the dehydration?" she asked.

Zedd shook his head. "I don't know. It sounds like Richard is reliving the illusions from Perdition. He must've thought the Keeper had won and we were all banelings. No wonder he ran from you."

"So we just find him and explain to him that he's lost his mind," said Cara. "When he sees that our skin isn't rotting, he'll realize he's wrong."

Zedd rolled his eyes. "Just because we can follow him doesn't mean he'll let us catch him."

"Unless he collapses again. Then we'll catch up to him just fine." Kahlan shoved her daggers into her boots. "We need to do something – now!"

"I know, dear one. I know." Zedd turned back to the banelings with a tired sigh. "Let me take care of these creatures so they don't turn up again. I refuse to fight them a third them."

"Then what?" said Cara.

"I have a plan."

Richard sat up and scrubbed at his eyes, spent. Around him, insects buzzed and a robin twittered in an oak tree. A breeze carried the sent of the woods, rich with vegetation and loam. Despite everything the Keeper had done, he still hadn't destroyed the world. It didn't make any sense for there to be this oasis of life, but Richard was too tired to question his good fortune.

After climbing wearily to his feet, he became aware of a deep and overwhelming thirst, as if the Underworld itself resided in his mouth and throat. Richard tried to swallow, but he couldn't, and ended up coughing a deep racking cough, which caused his eyes to water.

Richard waited until he felt steady enough to walk. Then he took a few stumbling steps and headed downhill, in search of a creek.

After walking for what seemed ages, the shadows grew long with the coming sunset, and Richard still hadn't found a source of water. Not even a puddle or patch of berries. He considered chewing on something green, some honeysuckle or dandelion, anything, just to squeeze out even a couple of drops of moisture, but he was afraid to bend down because he might just keep falling. He knew if he fell this time, he wouldn't be able to haul himself back to his feet again.

So he kept walking, unsteadily, pushing his way between brambles, vaguely noticing the collection of scratches on his bare skin. When a particularly sharp thorn gauged his forearm, Richard stared thirstily at the blood oozing out of the cut. Then without thinking, he brought his arm up to his mouth and lapped up the blood. The moisture wasn't enough, though, not nearly enough. He just needed to open it up a little, and then he'd be okay to keep going on. Richard pulled out his knife and brought it toward the cut.

The scent of roasted rabbit and wood smoke drifted on the wind. Richard paused with the knife against his skin. It smelled like someone's camp. Could that be possible? he wondered. Did banelings need to eat food or did they just kill people? He thought he should know the answer but couldn't seem to make his mind to work.

All he knew was that they might have water skins or wine. If they were banelings, he'd kill them first.

Richard followed the smell of roasted rabbit until he saw a fire flickering through the coming darkness. He crept between trees, resisting an almost overwhelming urge to run into their camp and demand they give him some water.

Three people sat around a fire. They looked like a family. The father was a short, rotund man with a black beard. He checked on the roasting rabbit, slicing off a piece and popping it in his mouth, before smiling delightedly. The son was a tall, thin young man, who paced back and forth along the edge of the camp, tapping a stick against his hand, full of pent-up energy. And the third person, was the mother, a woman of middle years with her graying hair tied in a knot. She laughed at some remark from the young man. She had a kind face as she laughed, as if it was important to her not to offend the young man.

Richard studied them, wondering how to tell a baneling from a person who was alive. They seemed so ordinary, but that could be a trap. Should he kill them?

The middle-aged woman picked up a water skin and squeezed water into her mouth. Richard's breath caught in his throat as he watched her. He swallowed, but his dry throat betrayed him, and he coughed. Then he coughed some more, hacking until he thought he'd turn inside out, his eyes watering and his hands shaking.

When he finished, the three people were staring in his direction.

"We heard you," said the cook, "so you may as well show yourself."

Richard pulled the Sword of Truth from its sheath and stepped into the circle of firelight.


	5. Chapter 5

Part 5

Richard approached them, sword raised. He couldn't stop staring at the waterskin, and as he did, his sword sagged toward the ground.

"Hello," said the woman, and Richard wrenched his eyes over to her, forcing his sword back up. She had both palms out to show that she wasn't armed.

He nodded once, cautiously. "Who—" he croaked and tried to swallow to moisten his throat, but he didn't have enough saliva. Instead, he whispered. "Who are you?"

"I'm Rubin," said the cook with a friendly smile. "This is my wife, Cynda, and our son, Mattrim."

"Matt," said the boy, gripping the stick so tight he looked like he could break it with his fingers. "I prefer Matt."

Rubin gestured to the ground near the cookfire. "You look like you've had a hard day, traveler. Why don't you share our fire and rest for a while. I'm roasting this rabbit that Mattrim caught. We have plenty to share."

Richard hesitated, swaying on his feet. He noticed the chill of the night air on the bare skin of his shoulders and back, and how warm the fire looked. He noticed the aroma of roasted rabbit spiced with garlic and thyme, and couldn't remember the last time he'd eaten anything at all, let alone something well-cooked and delicious. He noticed three water skins, one for each member of the family and a pot of water near the fire, ready for boiling turnips, which lay in a pile next to Rubin.

Water. It drove all other thoughts from his head. He licked his lips and moved forward without realizing he'd made the decision to do so, sheathing his sword. He fell onto his knees near Cynda. "Thank you," he croaked. If they were banelings, at least his horrible thirst would end when they killed him.

But they weren't acting like banelings. Cynda smiled kindly and opened the top of the water skin. She held it toward him. Richard grabbed it with shaking hands and tilted it into his mouth, squeezing it convulsively. He swallowed and swallowed the wet wonderful water, half of it rolling down his chin and onto his neck. He felt like he could drink for a week or a year and never grow tired of it.

Someone was pulling the skin away from him. "Slow down, my boy," said Rubin, who was stooping next to Richard. "You'll make yourself sick."

Richard blinked at him. He wiped the excess water from his face and licked his fingers. Rubin chuckled and gave him back the skin. "Slowly then. Water is the one thing we won't run out of. There's a creek right behind these trees." He indicated a line of maples on the far side of the firelight.

Richard squeezed a few more swallows into his mouth and lowered the water skin as Rubin had directed. He couldn't believe he'd come this close to water without finding it. But maybe it was a good thing he'd come across this family because they had food and a fire, assuming they weren't banelings, but that was seeming more and more unlikely the longer he was with them.

"Thank you," he said, still sounding hoarse. He cleared his throat, glad to have the ability to do that again without coughing. "You're very kind."

Rubin smiled, his eyes crinkling, and patted him on the knee. "I hope you're hungry. The rabbit should be ready. Then we'll have some turnips that Cynda dug up for us."

Richard suddenly felt like he could eat the entire rabbit by himself. He settled cross-legged in front of the fire and intently watched Rubin as his sliced the rabbit onto four plates.

"Mattrim, here you go," said Rubin, passing out the plates. "Cynda, my dear. And, I'm sorry, my boy, I don't know your name."

"Richard." Then the rabbit was in front of him, and Richard was tearing strips of meat and shoving them into his mouth like a savage, swallowing them as fast as he could. He barely tasted the rabbit, and before he knew it, his plate was empty.

He looked up to see the others chewing small bites the way civilized people did, their plates still half full. They were staring at him, and looked quickly away when he met their eyes. Richard shrugged, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "It was very delicious."

"Would you care for an apple?" asked Cynda, setting down her plate to scrounge in a basket near her feet. She pulled out two small hard apples, which she handed to Richard.

"Oh no," he said, trying to push her hand away. "You've been more than generous."

"Take them," said Cynda. "They're too sour for my liking."

Richard didn't need to be told twice. He ate both apples while the others finished their rabbit, and found them to be sweet with just a hint of sourness. He suspected that Cynda had lied, but that didn't stop him from eating the apples. And then Rubin dished out the boiled turnips, giving Richard a more generous portion than the others. When he was done, Richard almost felt too full. He was starting to wonder if he'd turned into Zedd, eating nonstop, but it felt good not to be hungry any more.

Zedd. He hadn't thought of his grandfather in a long time. Being with this family reminded Richard of being with real family. But now everyone he loved had become a baneling, and if he saw them again, he'd have to kill them. He pressed his fingers to his eyes as a wave of sadness hit him, overwhelming in its intensity.

"Are you all right, Richard?" said Cynda in such a kind and gentle voice that it reminded him of Kahlan.

Oh dear spirits, Kahlan. He'd never sit next to her at a fire like this again. But now was not the time to think about these things. The Keeper was out there, and by some miracle he'd found a family who might be able to help him fight back. Rihard nodded and tried to push back the tears with his fingertips, his throat tight with emotion.

"Are you in pain?" she asked.

"Pain?" Richard wiped away the moisture from his eyes and looked at her in confusion.

She gestured toward his arms and chest. "You're covered with scrapes and cuts. Rubin has some salve that would help."

Richard glanced down at his body. She was right. He looked like he'd crawled for miles through the thorniest bramble imaginable. Rivulets of sweat and blood had made tracks through the dirt that coated his skin. Scratches were everywhere from his mad dash through the woods. But where were his shirt and vest? What would possess him to wander through the woods so ill-prepared?

"And I'm sure Matrim has an extra shirt you can wear." Cynda gestured to the boy, who was back to pacing back and forth near the fire. Matrim shrugged as if he didn't care whether or not Richard had one of his extra shirts.

Richard shook his head. "You've done more than enough."

"It's no trouble," said Cynda. "The night air is growing quite cold. You don't want to get sick again."

"Again?" Richard glanced at her in surprise.

Cynda glanced at Rubin and then back at him. "I meant that you were so thirsty and hungry before, it was as if you were ill."

Before Richard could process that, Rubin approached with a jar of ointment in his hands. "I made this myself," he said, winking, "of this and that with a good pinch of the other thing."

Richard smiled as Rubin opened the jar and applied some salve to the top of Richard's shoulder. It smelled sweet with a hint of cloves, and felt cool and moist. It made goose pimples break out all over his skin. Richard shivered and then yawned.

"I need to talk with all of you," said Richard, stifling another yawn. It was getting hard to keep his eyes open.

Rubin generously smeared more salve to Richard's back, and cuts he didn't even realize had hurt began to feel better.

"What would you like to talk to us about?" asked Rubin.

Richard felt his eyelids drooping and he forced them open. "It's about the Keeper. It's very important." But he was having trouble remembering what it was about the Keeper that he wanted to say.

"Maybe he better lay down," said Mattrim, sounding more concerned than Richard had thought was possible for the sullen young man.

"Yes," said Cynda, spreading a blanket behind Richard. Gentle hands helped him lay back on the blanket, as Rubin applied salve to his chest.

"Just close your eyes, Richard," said Cynda. "Everything will be all right."

And so he did.


	6. Chapter 6

Part 6

Cynda helped Richard lay back. After a moment, his breathing evened out.

"I think he's asleep," she said.

Rubin placed a hand along Richard's cheek. Then he opened one of Richard's eyelids with a thumb, and let it drop. "Yes, he should be out until dawn."

"Good." Cynda bent over and kissed Richard on the cheek. "He seems better now, don't you think?"

"If you don't count the fact that he is out of his mind. Then he's much better." Matrim tapped the stick against his palm.

Rubin placed a hand over Cynda's, where it lay on Richard's chest atop the Keeper's mark. "Kahlan," he said with much warmth, "once he gets a good night's sleep, he'll be good as new. It's been a long day, and Richard is finally hydrated and well fed and able to sleep and dream. His mind should be back to normal in the morning."

He gave Matrim an annoyed glare. "And for the record, my grandson is not out of his mind."

Matrim huffed, hands on hips. "I see we're using our real names now."

"Only until Richard wakes up," said Zedd, handing the ointment to Kahlan. "Why don't you finish applying this, and wipe your hands afterwards or you'll fall asleep as fast as Richard."

Kahlan dipped her fingers in the jar and smoothed the ointment on the abrasions on Richard's chest that Zedd hadn't gotten to yet. "I was really worried about him," she murmured, her fingers becoming slightly numb as she scooped out more ointment. "Still am."

"I want to kill those Sisters of the Dark," said Cara. "That pointy-hatted sister has a death sentence over her head."

Zedd stood and rubbed the small of his back, looking remarkably Zedd-like despite his disguise as a stout peasant. "Spirits, I'm tired. I suggest we all get a good night's sleep. If Richard isn't himself in the morning, I'll rethink our strategy."

Kahlan turned to Zedd, alarmed. "What do you mean, 'If he isn't himself in the morning'?"

Zedd' s eyebrows furled in consternation. "I'm sure he'll be fine, my dear. I'm just trying to anticipate all contingencies."

"Lord Rahl better be himself. I do not want to find a third Seeker in less than that many months." Cara rolled her eyes. "And when will you remove this ridiculous disguise? I am not a boy. I'm surprised Richard didn't see through your sham from the moment he saw us, Wizard."

Zedd chuckled. "You're very, er, handsome, Cara." He moved to the other side of the fire and settled down on his bedroll. "A little longer as a boy won't kill you. But if you'd like, I'm sure there's a princess in the mirror that I could change you into."

Cara snorted, and Zedd chuckled as he closed his eyes. Soon he was snoring softly.

Kahlan tenderly brushed a lock of hair off Richard's forehead. After she put the ointment away, she wiped her hands on the edge of his blanket and pulled Richard's pulling shirt from her pack. She laid it over his unconscious form. It was so baggy, that it was almost like a blanket, keeping out the chill night air.

Earlier, while they'd waited for him to discover their camp, she'd washed the blood and sweat out of his shirt and let it dry on some tree branches, partly because his shirt needed to be washed and partly because she needed to keep herself busy while he roamed the wilderness, half out of his mind. When Zedd had seen what she was doing, he'd waved his hands, turning the shirt brown.

Kahlan smoothed down the shirt sleeves, pressing them against each of his arms. She longed to curl up behind him and place her arms around his waist, to nestle her chin against his neck and pull him close. She wanted to fall asleep pressed against him and wake to see his soft brown eyes looking at her. She felt a fierce need to protect him that made it hard to remember how dangerous their closeness could be for him.

Could she accidentally confess him just by sleeping alongside his body? She didn't think so, but she wondered if she'd be able to restrict herself to simple sleep. With a blush, she realized how impossible that would be.

But spirits, she was tired of this distance between them.

"Kahlan," called Cara softly.

Kahlan glanced up at her.

"He's fine now. Staying up won't help him tomorrow when you're dead tired and can't fight banelings."

Kahlan nodded as she ran her fingers through Richard's matted hair and traced his whiskered jawline. "I know. I'll go to bed soon. But I can't let another moment go by without . . ." Her voice grew hoarse, and she stopped talking for a moment. "Don't worry. It's just that . . . I'm so glad he's alive." Kahlan felt tears burn in her eyes.

Cara's mouth opened and then closed. She looked off into the distance, blinking furiously. "I understand," she said, before walking to the edge of the firelight and staring off into the forest. "You love him. It's a familiar refrain."

"I know," whispered Kahlan. "You do understand now."

Cara continued to stand with her back to the camp, and Kahlan knew she was thinking about Leo. Maybe she'd talk to her tomorrow. Maybe not. It was hard to judge how to relate to Cara at times.

Kahlan turned back to Richard and stroked his cheek, letting her fingertips linger over his full lips,. She leaned forward and kissed him on the mouth.

"Richard," she whispered. "Sleep easy. When you wake, remember everything, please. We need you. I need you."

Richard breathed in and out, his eyelids flickering with his dreams. Kahlan reluctantly crawled away and laid down on her own blanket. She didn't think she'd be able to sleep. Yet when she closed her eyes, blackness claimed her almost right away.

The next morning, Kahlan woke up to fog. It permeated their camp, the moist air giving the woods a surreal quality that muffled sounds and made it seem like they were in a small world all their own.

With a subdued clatter, Cara dumped an armful of sticks near the remains of last-night's fire. She toed Zedd in the side. "Rubin," she said softly, "it's time to get up."

"Goodness," said Zedd yawning, "I feel as weak as a newborn babe. Whose turn is it to make breakfast?"

"Yours," said Cara, "so get a move on."

Zedd "hmphed" and wiped the sleep from his eyes. As he struggled to his feet, groaning, Kahlan sat up and looked anxiously at Richard. He'd rolled onto his side during the night, facing away from them. Now his shirt lay bunched under his arms. He appeared to still be sleeping soundly.

Rising quietly to her feet, she crept to Zedd. "Should we wake him?"

Zedd shook his head. "There's no need. Let him sleep as long as he needs. We can use the rest as well. The stone can wait another day. Plus, I don't want to give him the compass until he's completely well."

"That's very logical," said Kahlan, watching Richard's shoulders rise and fall with his breath. She crossed her arms, frowning.

"Why don't you go wash up," suggested Zedd. "Breakfast won't be for a little while, and your fretting won't help anyone."

"All right, but call if anything happens."

When Zedd nodded, Kahlan grabbed a towel and worked her way through the thick fog until she found the creek. Once there, she stripped off her dress and splashed cold water over her skin. When she returned to camp, she felt slightly cleaner and much more awake.

Richard was sitting up, blinking through the fog and glancing curiously at the shirt in his lap.

"Good morning," said Zedd, looking over a pot that sat on the fire. "Breakfast won't be too long."

"Thank you," said Richard. He held up the shirt, a question in his eyes.

"It's for you," said Kahlan, walking into camp. "One of Mattrim's old shirts."

Richard pulled the shirt over his head, wincing as the material grazed the abrasions over his torso. "You're all so kind. You remind me of . . ." He paused and cleared his throat. ". . . friends."

Cara stepped forward, hands on hips. "And where are those friends now?" she asked.

Richard glanced away, swallowing.

"Richard?" asked Kahlan, her heart suddenly pounding in her chest.

Zedd leaned forward, staring at him intently.

"They're dead," said Richard, his voice cracking, "and they're banelings now. They tried to kill me yesterday."

"No," gasped Kahlan, placing a hand over her mouth.

"It's true," said Richard. He climbed to his feet, placing a hand on the Sword of Truth. As he talked, he met each of their eyes. "It's what I wanted to tell you yesterday. The Keeper has taken over the world, I need your help to defeat him. Will you help me?"

"Yes," said all three of them, exchanging worried glances.

"We'll help you, my boy," said Zedd. "We'll do everything we can."


End file.
